Gossip Girl: Spotted in Central Park: two white flags waving. Could an Upper East Side peace accord be far off?

Serena: I didn’t know what to say to you, or even how to be your friend after what I did.. I’m so sorry!

Blair [reading to Serena]: Feel like screaming because: you’re gone, my dad is gone, Nate is acting weird, where are you? Why don’t you call? Why did you leave without saying goodbye? You suppose to be my bestfriend. I miss you so much..

Blair: Whenever something's bothering you I can always find you here.

Serena: Here for another cat fight? What's that?

Blair: A letter. I wrote it to you when you were away at boarding school. I never sent it.

Rufus: We're real men, son. We don't like to share our feelings.

Rufus: So you really impressed the guy, huh? Must be the way you poured those sodas.

Gossip Girl: Another bomb lands in Blair's lap. Will she use it as ammunition or will she finally surrender and put down her arms?

Blair: Eric, I didn't—

Eric: See that coming? Yeah. Well it must be a shock for someone who thinks she knows everything.

Dan: If you ever need anybody to talk to. Or, not talk to. I'd be happy to do either.

Serena: I'll keep that in mind.

Serena: Look I'm asking you, please, I'll stop if you will.

Blair: You're just saying that because today you lost. And you're going to keep losing. Now if you'll excuse me I have a future to get back to.

Lily: Why is Blair outing you for a drug problem you don't have? You don't, do you? 

Serena: Mom.

Gossip Girl: Honesty may be the best policy in some ZIP codes, but not in this one. And not this week. Because "I was a teenage drug addict" is not exactly a winning college essay.

Blair: It's because of their excellent program which aids so many addicts and alcoholics that a student here with us today is clean and sober. At least for now. Can I please have Serena van der Woodsen join me on stage?

Gossip Girl: Spotted at the Ivy League mixer: S and B’s last stand. And only one gets out alive. Better take cover.

Dan: So? What's he like?

Nate: Like a Dartmouth English Lit prof I have nothing in common with. Guess I could tell him how everything I have I got because I'm an Archibald.

Dan: You should mention Dr. Seuss. Theodore Geisel was his real name. He went to Dartmouth. Hall said he got the idea for The Petting Zoo from the Lorax.

Nate: The what?

Dan: You know what, never mind. Just mention how his prose style is influenced by early Faulkner. You'll be alright. Or... not.

Nate: I liked your book.

Hall: Oh, thanks. What did you think of the epilogue? Some people really love it. The NYT called it a cheap cop out. Warner Bros. is making a movie. I think they're going to change the end.

Nate: Well I can see how the ending might not be all that... commercial. Would you like a drink?

Chuck: Oh, don't get your La Perlas in a bunch.

Rufus: You can talk to that author you love, ask him anything you want.

Dan: Like his preference for soft drinks?

Rufus: You're in.

Dan: What?

Rufus: The Ivy Week party tonight. Your name will be on the program and everything.

Dan: You got me the Dartmouth spot?

Jenny: I knew you could do it, Dad.

Blair: What is she doing there?

Chuck: What is anyone doing there. It's a facility for the disturbed or addicted.

Blair: You must have your own wing.

Chuck: You don't get nearly enough credit for your wit.

Dan [about Nate]: Last year, I believe he had an original thought. It died of loneliness.

Blair: No one likes to be on the ground floor of a scandal like Chuck Bass.

Chuck: I am a bitch when I want to be.

Chuck: Heard about the field hockey throw down. All those mouth guards and short skirts. I hope somebody filmed it.

Blair: You're heinous.

Chuck: Which is probably why you called.

Blair: You know me well.

Chuck: Women like to pretend they're complicated. I know better.

Serena: Oo! Angry guy, huh?
Dan: Short fuse. I'm trying to work on that.

Serena: Well let me know how that goes for you.
Dan: Yeah, I'll keep you posted.
Serena: It's a tough week.
Dan: Not for me, apparently.
Serena: Oh, you got an usher position?
Dan: No I didn't. In an ironic though not totally unexpected twist, Nate got the one I wanted.

Gossip Girl: Hey Upper East Siders. We hear that World War III just broke out. And it's wearing knee socks. Choose your side or run and hide. We have a feeling this one's to the death.

Serena: I hope it's broken.

Ref: Running out of colors here, Blair.

Serena: And I'm running out of patience. That's enough.

Blair: It's enough when I say it's enough.

Serena: I really want to believe that was an accident.

Blair: Then you must be delusional.

Blair [to Serena]: Oh! You missed the assembly. Too bad Brown doesn't offer degrees in Slut.

Serena: God, please don't tell me it's over.

Dan: You were there. I would say it's pretty much over.

Serena: I meant the assembly.

Mr. Archibald: Your mother and I didn't work this hard so you could just make things up as you go along. Dartmouth. Law school. Blair. Soon you're gonna have everything.

Rufus: Ah, it's not that bad.

Dan: Looks like I shaved with a wood chipper.

Jenny: I was going with more of a chainsaw.

Dan: Not helping.

Jenny: Not trying to.

Rufus: Hey, look on the bright side: you're not a hemophiliac. Otherwise you'd be in the emergency room.

For those of you who dream of attending an Ivy League school, this mixer is the most important event of your life. But no pressure.

SEASON 1, EPISODE 3 - POISON IVY

Gossip Girl: There's plenty of upside to being the spawn of the fabulously wealthy. But the downside? Super successful parents expect nothing less from their offspring. And when it comes to college, that means the Ivys. It's more than just getting into college, it's setting a course for the rest of your life. And for those few who aren't legacies, the pressures are no less. When parents have sacrificed for their children’s futures, what kid would want to let them down?