Gossip Girl: Spotted: B turning a year older but not necessarily wiser.

Chuck: I really am sorry.

Blair: I'm not in the mood, Chuck. This is pretty much the worst birthday ever.

Chuck: Maybe it can be salvaged.

Blair: What is that, our sex tape?

Dan: Well listen, if you want to get out of here, Vanessa can only fit two on her Vespa but I can walk.

Serena: Well, you know I love me a Vespa but, um, I think I gotta be here, stay with Blair. You're not the only one with a best friend.

Serena: Blair stop, you can talk to me!

Blair: We’ve ended it, I wanted to tell you but a part of me thought that if I didn’t say it out loud it would be true.

Serena: Sshhh..

Blair: It was my birthday wish for us to get back together but now it’s really over. I just want to be alone for a second.

Chuck: 12:01. I'm sorry.

Blair: No. You're smarmy. There's a difference.

Serena: Blair says in a relationship the best friend is— 

Dan: Serena. Are you really taking relationship advice from Blair?

Serena: Good point. Look, I just don't wanna have to compete with Vanessa. You know with Guitar Hero, okay. I'm way more awesome if you didn't happen to notice. But not with you.

Dan: That's fair.

Serena: Blair this is Dan’s friend, Vanessa.

Vanessa: Wow, you didn't mention they were so nice. Now I get it.

Blair: Oh sweetie, you did not tell me she looked like that. This is such a problem.

Blair: You sound like a jealous boyfriend.

Chuck: Yeah right. You wish.

Blair: No. You wish.

Chuck: Please. You forget who you're talking to.

Blair: So do you? Do you... like me?

Chuck: Define "like."

Blair: You have got to be kidding. I do not believe this.

Chuck: How do you think I feel? I haven't slept. I feel sick, like there's something in my stomach. Fluttering.

Blair: Butterflies? Oh no no no. This is not happening.

Chuck: No one is more surprised or ashamed than I am.

Blair: Chuck. You know that I adore all of God’s creatures and the metaphors that they inspire. But those butterflies? Have got to be murdered.

Chuck: Look, if you're done with Blair, be done. Don't cave to your parents’ wishes if they're not your desires.

Nate: Excuse me? Where's my boy? "Seal the deal." "Tap that ass." "Money marries bigger money."

Chuck: What's on your mind?

Nate: It's my mom.

Chuck: Sounds Freudian.

Nate: C'mon man, I can hear you breathing on the other side of the door. Is she anybody you can get rid of? I really need to talk to you, man. Please.

Dan: You don't get it, do you? You think I'm only mad about the cheating?

Alison Humphrey: Okay, what else?

Dan: Maybe that you promised you'd be home by the end of summer and then weren't. Maybe that you left at all.

Alison Humphrey: I asked if you were okay with me going away and I'd hoped that if there was a problem you would say something.

Dan: Like what? Your daughter's a freshman at a school populated by mean girls and date rapists, I think she needs her mom? Or maybe, my father is madly in love with you and will probably never get over this. Why should I have to tell you this?

Gossip Girl: Whoever thought monarchy was dead didn't realize it just changed ZIP codes.

Nate: Mom, that's a family heirloom. I'm not giving it to Blair. It's an engagement ring. 

Mrs. Archibald: I'm not asking you to propose. But it's important that Blair knows how much you value her loyalty.

Nate: Her loyalty or her mother's?

Dan: Does anyone else think this is extremely weird? I mean given everything.

Jenny: Dan, just forget about it. If Dad can let it go so can you.
Rufus: What do you mean, "let it go"?

Gossip Girl: Speak of the Devil and he doth appear. Wearing his trademark scarf.

Dan: So Vanessa works here now.

Serena: Yeah. We should make this our regular spot.

Blair: You don't grant birthday wishes, do you?

Priest: I'm a priest, not a genie.

Seventeen Candles

Blair: After being broken up with my boyfriend for exactly 20 minutes, I succumbed to inebriation, performed at a speakeasy, and surrendered my virtue to a self-absorbed ass. The only good news is that he's a total pig who'll act it never happened. Thank god. Sorry. Truthfully I'm not even Catholic.

Priest: You don't say.

Blair: Thanks for the lift home

Chuck: You were amazing up there

Blair looks at him for a moment, then leans in for a kiss. Their lips touch lightly, before Chuck pulls away.

Chuck: You sure? 

Blair pauses briefly, then kisses him passionately. Things progress as the screen fades to black.

Serena: Wait—

Dan: What, did I do something wrong? I knew the hair thing was too much.

Serena: No, it's just... um. 

Dan: "Um" is never good.

Serena voice breaking: I, I'm scared.

Dan: Of me?

Serena: No! Well, yes. But, it's just...I've never...

Dan: You've never? You're not a...

Serena: No. No, I wish. It's just...nobody's ever looked at the way you just did. In fact, I don't think they looked at me at all. Covers her face with her hand. You think I'm crazy, don't you?

Dan: No. No, I don't.

Serena: Are you mad?

Dan smiles: Come here.

Rufus: Let me ask you that question another way: did you break up with Bart again?

Lily: Well. What did I do to deserve such a thorny welcome?

Rufus: I'm sorry, I'm really not in the mood to play games. I don't know what's happening with my wife, or my marriage. And you showing up here randomly—and often—doesn't make figuring that out any easier.

Lily: I'm sorry I bothered you. Really.

Random guy: Who's that girl?

Chuck: I have no idea.

Blair: You know, I got moves.

Blair to Nate: You should deal with your father. He needs you. And you know what? I don't.

Nate: Dad, you have a problem.

Howard: I don't have a problem.

Nate: You're tweaked and embarrassing, you're trying to tell me you don't have a problem?

Vanessa to Jenny: You look pretty good for a dead messenger.

Rufus: Sensuous massage. Something we should talk about?

Dan: Oh, uh. No. I have a lot of tension. Stress in between my shoulder blades.

Dan: The leg wrap. That's interesting.

Serena: Sexy, right? And it increases stability.

Dan: Sure, yeah. I can see that. The hair grab, does that really work?

Nate: Oh yeah, every time.

Dan: Okay, so. Leg wrap to hair grab. Hold on a second, do I have to keep my shirt open and billowing like that?

Nate: It never hurts.

Serena: Nice.

Dan: I'm doomed.

Jenny: Yesterday wasn't the first time I talked to Nate. At the ball he told me he wasn't over Serena.

Blair: Why would he tell you that?

Jenny: Because I was wearing her mask. And he thought I was her. And he kissed me.

Blair: That's enough.

Jenny: Blair, I didn't want you to find out.

Blair: You're dismissed, Jenny. For good.

Blair to Jenny: Why are you not happy for me?